Too Late to Turn Back
by WinterStorrm
Summary: Scorpius can't tell Harry how he feels…and now it's too late.


**Title:** Too Late to Turn Back  
**Pairing: **Harry/Scorpius  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Word Count**: 3,500  
**Warnings**: Age difference.  
**Disclaimer:** The characters depicted herein belong JK Rowling and associated publishers. I make no profit from this endeavour.  
**Author's Notes:** Written for hpsmfest 2012..  
Beta read by singlemomsummer, edited since, mistakes all mine.  
**Summary:** Scorpius can't tell Harry how he feels…and now it's too late.

Scorpius was half asleep when he heard the voices downstairs. He'd come back from training early, exhausted from the heavy schedule he was still only six months into, and had flaked out on his bed with the intention of resting his eyes for five minutes—forty minutes ago. Sitting up he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms and swung his feet to the floor. Harry was home and Scorpius' heart rate was already accelerating in anticipation of seeing him.

He really did have it bad.

Still bleary he shuffled out of the room and down the stairs, out in the hallway and left into the kitchen—and stopped dead. Harry was sitting at the kitchen table, his back to Scorpius and opposite him was a man that Scorpius had never seen before—a man who was holding Harry's hand across the table and was so preoccupied with Harry that he didn't see Scorpius in the doorway.

"Don't make me ask again, Harry," the man—dark blond, brown eyes, somewhere in his thirties—said, his voice coaxing. "I'm in love with you, you know that. Say yes."

Bile rose in Scorpius' throat. Say _yes_ to what? What was more—who the hell was this guy? Scorpius hadn't known that Harry was seeing anyone. All this time, these last few months of Scorpius lodging with Harry—his best friend's father—had Harry had a boyfriend all that time? All that time that Scorpius was falling in love with him..?

He must have made a noise, because at that moment Harry pulled his hand out of the other's grip and turned to face the door. "Scorp—I didn't realise you were home!"

Scorpius forced his legs to move and stepped into the room, avoiding Harry's gaze. "They let us out early today. This morning was pretty intense." He walked over to the Muggle refrigerator and made a show of rummaging around for something to snack on even though his appetite had gone south the moment he'd seen Harry's hand being held by someone who wasn't him.

"Scorp, this is Frank," Harry said in a strained voice.

Scorpius gave up the pretence of foraging and shut the fridge door, turning to look at the two men sitting at the table. Harry and Frank. Harry _and_ Frank. _Say yes_.

"Pleasure to meet you," Scorpius lied, offering the other man a bright smile, the one that he knew felled witches at fifty paces. Frank blinked, momentarily mesmerised by him and Scorpius felt a kick of satisfaction. He had that effect on most people, not that he ever really made use of it—everyone except Harry who continued to see him as Albus' best friend and not the young adult that he'd become. He flicked his gaze to Harry's and said, "Don't let me keep you—I'm just heading out to Teddy's anyway."

Scorpius didn't miss the way Harry's eyes narrowed, but he didn't let himself dwell on that. He knew Harry loved Teddy as much as he loved his own kids so it couldn't be disapproval on his face—unless it was directed at Scorpius, and he didn't believe that of Harry—still, the hurt from Frank's presence coupled with Harry's apparent annoyance spurred him on.

Teddy's flatmate was on the verge of moving out and Teddy had asked him if he wanted to take the room, but Scorpius hadn't wanted to consider it before because he was happy here with Harry—or had been until today. "Teddy's asked me to move in with him," Scorpius blurted, the hurt forcing the words from his mouth. "I'm thinking about saying yes."

He didn't give Harry a chance to respond; the need to escape the tension that had closed around him from being in this room pushing him towards the door again.

"Don't wait up!" he called over his shoulder as he closed his eyes to prepare for Apparition. He hoped Teddy still had that bottle of Ogden's. Scorpius planned on making quite a dent in it.

:::

Scorpius spent the night on Teddy's sofa, not half as drunk as he'd hoped to be. As ever, Teddy was the voice of reason. However, Scorpius didn't agree that telling Harry how he felt about him was a viable option. What would that achieve? All that would do was make things awkward between them and end the friendship that they had built. Not that Harry thought of Scorpius that highly as if he did he would have told him that he'd been seeing someone.

_Frank_. What a wanker. Had he spent the night with Harry? The thought of them together made Scorpius nauseous. Why didn't Harry see _him_? He wasn't bad looking was he? In fact, he knew that wasn't the case at all. It was only Harry who made him feel invisible. He was tall, maybe a little too slender but not unfit—his time as the seeker for Ravenclaw had made sure he had muscle—his hair was as pale as his fathers, but his eyes were a deep blue from his mother. Did he remind Harry too much of his father, was that it? Scorpius knew that they hadn't got on when they were at school, but that had been years ago—if they encountered one another these days they actually made time to catch up and his father thought highly of Harry, said if it wasn't for him they'd all be living a very different life now.

"Wake up, Scorp." Teddy's voice drifted into Scorpius' musings at the same time as the strong smell of caffeine hit him and Scorpius opened one eye to find a smiling Teddy standing over him with a steaming mug.

"Is that for me?" At Teddy's nod, Scorpius sat up and rubbed his eyes, swinging his legs to the floor so that there was room on the sofa for Teddy to sit next to him before gratefully taking the mug and inhaling the aroma of freshly brewed coffee; his favourite thing in the world. "Thanks, Ted, you're a star."

Scorpius hadn't known Teddy growing up even though he was his second cousin or something like that. Teddy had grown up with his grandmother, Scorpius' great-aunt, but the family rift between Scorpius' grandmother and her sister Andromeda hadn't healed by the time Narcissa died when Scorpius was four. It had been Albus who had introduced them a couple of years ago at a party at the Burrow and they had clicked immediately, Teddy becoming the big brother he'd never had at almost ten years his senior. They had a lot in common, not just a shared family history but Teddy was an Unspeakable and that had been what Scorpius wanted to do, Teddy was gay and so was Scorpius—well, Scorpius liked both men and women, but that was close enough.

"So now that you're sober are you still as keen to take the spare room?" Teddy asked and Scorpius sighed heavily. Last night he'd been determined that he needed to move out of Harry's, but now in the cold, sober light of day…

"Yes," he said, smiling at Teddy like he'd just told him he's won the new Wizarding Lottery. "If you still want me."

"It's yours if you want it, Scorp," Teddy said, nudging him affectionately with an elbow. "Just make sure that you want it first, okay? Harry—"

"—doesn't want me," Scorpius finished. "I'll move in as soon as Winston moves out." He didn't look at Teddy as he spoke, he didn't want to see the concern on his face.

"Two weeks then," Teddy said.

Scorpius nodded and took a swig of coffee. "Two weeks."

:::

It was late afternoon when Scorpius made it back home—to Harry's. He'd gone shopping in Oxford Street with Teddy, who thought Muggle clothes far superior to stuffy Wizarding robes and the like, and had ended up spending a small fortune on designer jeans, shirts and shoes.

Harry was watching the television when Scorpius arrived back. When he entered the room Harry flicked off the programme with the remote and turned to him. "Where've you been all day?" he asked, looking Scorpius up and down as though his appearance might offer a clue.

Scorpius reached into his pocket and pulled out his shrunken shopping, returning it to full size with a flick of his wand. "Shopping with Teddy," he replied. "Why, were you worried?"

Harry stared at him silently for a long moment before shaking his head. "You're your own man and you don't have to explain yourself to me."

No, Scorpius didn't have to explain himself to anybody if he didn't want to. He was eighteen years old, nearly nineteen. He could do what he wanted. Only—he _wanted_ Harry to care where he'd been, to worry about him if he was out all night. He wanted Harry to love him.

"Did you say yes?" he blurted then, immediately wanting to kick himself. Where the hell had that come from? Okay, so he'd heard _Frank_ asking Harry to say yes—to what he didn't know—on a loop in his head for hours as he'd tried to sleep last night, but still, didn't he have any control? He felt the blush, the humiliation, creeping up his neck and along with it the urge to Apparate up to his room and crawl into bed to hide for the foreseeable future.

"What—_oh_. Look, Scorp, about that—"

Scorpius tore his gaze away from Harry, realising he'd been staring, probably with his pathetic heart in his eyes and picked up his shopping. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Harry," he said quickly before Harry could say any more. "And, um, consider this my two weeks' notice that I'm moving out."

Harry stood up and took a step towards him. Scorpius took one back. Harry's face had no expression, which wasn't Harry at all; he usually wore his every emotion on his face. "Teddy?" he asked in a low voice.

Scorpius nodded. _I'll miss you_. He backed away. "I need to lie down," he excused and fled. When he reached his room he dumped his bags on the floor and flung himself face first onto his bed. Where had it all gone wrong? Him and Harry—they'd always gotten on like a house on fire. The first time they'd met had been when Al had invited Scorpius to stay for a week in the summer holidays when they were twelve. Harry had never talked down to him; had always treated him like an equal. Then Scorpius had to go and ruin it by falling in love with him. How had it happened? He hadn't even seen it coming—just one day a couple of months ago, Harry had come home from work and _wham_, it hit Scorpius like the Hogwarts Express—the reason he preferred to stay home rather than go out with his friends, why he enjoyed spending evenings with Harry just _being_. He'd fallen for him and he'd hoped that maybe Harry felt it too—he'd convinced himself that perhaps he did. The way Harry looked at him sometimes—but all that time Harry had been seeing someone.

When the knock came he wasn't expecting it. "Scorp?" Harry's voice permeated the wooden barrier of the door a moment before the handle turned and Harry was there. Scorpius flipped over onto his back and propped himself up on his elbows.

"What do you want, Harry?" he asked, not ready to see him again so soon.

Harry's expression was still guarded. He closed the door behind him and came to sit on the end of the bed. "Are you sure moving in with Teddy is what you want?" Green eyes fixed upon him and Scorpius couldn't breathe.

"Yes," he managed, forcing himself to look away as the next lie tripped off his tongue, "I've never been surer of anything."

Harry didn't reply and when Scorpius chanced a glance back at him he found Harry was staring down at his hands that were twisting in his lap. "Right, well—that's good. I'll miss you, but I suppose I was lucky that you stayed as long as you did. You should be with people nearer your own age." He stood. "I'm making chilli for dinner; it'll be ready in an hour if you want to join me."

Scorpius watched Harry exit the room again and dropped his head back down to the pillow. What the fuck?

:::

The next week dragged by. Scorpius found that he was staying at work as late as possible in order to avoid going home or stopping round at Teddy's for a beer or two—anything than endure the inevitable tense atmosphere with Harry. He hadn't seen Frank again, but a couple of the evenings he had arrived home from work to find that Harry wasn't there, only for him to come back much later and to go straight to bed. Where he'd been Scorpius didn't know, and he certainly didn't ask on the mornings that he and Harry were in the kitchen preparing breakfast at the same time.

They were polite but it was awkward—like they were two strangers forced to share the same living space against their will. Scorpius hated it.

On the Saturday, a week before he was due to move out, Scorpius had had enough. He'd told Teddy he'd come round in the afternoon and they'd go out for a drink or do _something_ just to get him out of the house, and Teddy had agreed but he'd made it clear that he thought Scorpius needed to 'sort this out with Harry' before it was too late. Scorpius disagreed. It was already too late.

He stayed in bed as long as he could, skipping breakfast with the intention of grabbing something to eat at Teddy's, and heading for a shower an hour or so before he planned to leave. When he came out of the shower and returned to his room to dry off, Harry was sitting on his bed.

"Harry—what—?" Scorpius' hands moved to grip the spot where the towel was tucked around his waist, hyper aware that he was half-naked, willing his body not to react _now_ of all times to Harry's intoxicating presence. This wasn't the same as getting a hard on at the dinner table from watching Harry's Adam's apple as he talked, or his hands as he tore his bread…_that_ he could hide.

Harry got to his feet. "I—" He stopped and swallowed, his eyes riveted on Scorpius' chest. "You—" A slow flush crept up his neck and coloured his cheeks crimson. He was close, all Scorpius would have to do was reach out a hand and he would be touching him. Sometimes it felt as though he was permanently suppressing his need to touch Harry—how many evenings had he spent beside him on the sofa sitting on his hands?

"What, Harry?" Scorpius managed, his knuckles whitening as he gripped his towel tightly.

"Fuck," Harry groaned and reached out, his hand curling around the base of Scorpius neck, aligning himself against him, taking Scorpius' mouth in a soft kiss. Scorpius froze. This was what he'd wanted for so long—so, so long—and it was perfect. Harry tasted of his favourite lemon tea and his touch felt like velvet on Scorpius' skin. He swayed, closing his eyes and letting go of the towel his hands moved to Harry's chest, his fingers grasping at Harry's t-shirt and pulling him closer, opening his mouth for Harry. _Merlin_.

Scorpius was no virgin, there had been others back at school, casual flings, experimenting, but nothing had felt like this, like he wanted to devour someone whole, to possess them completely. He wanted Harry, wanted to be inside him, wanted Harry inside him, he _wanted_…

Harry stopped abruptly and pushed Scorpius back, his hands shaking as he covered his mouth as though in shock. "No," he said, stepping towards the door, both hands on the door handle. "This can't happen. I shouldn't have—I'm sorry, I—I'm sorry."

Scorpius twisted the folds on his towel and let it fall to the floor, leaving him naked and erect before Harry. His cock stood almost flat against his stomach, a slash of red against the paleness of his skin. "Why?" he said, bolstered by the fact that only a moment ago Harry had been kissing him. He stepped closer to Harry, watching closely as Harry's gaze followed him, fixed on his cock—he looked _hungry_. "Don't you want me?" Harry was fully clothed but Scorpius couldn't miss the unmistakable bulge in his jeans. Harry wanted him alright.

Green eyes lifted to his, darkened with want but still recognisable as Harry's. "Of course I do," Harry rasped and licked his lips. "I'm not made of stone."

"Then why can't we?" Scorpius reached out and tucked a strand of Harry's hair behind his ear. "I think it's pretty clear how much I want you."

Harry swallowed, guilt stamped all over his face. "Teddy," he said. "He's my godson, I love him, I can't do it to him—"

Scorpius gaped. "What's it got to do with Teddy?"

"He's your—You're _moving in_ with him!"

Suddenly the penny dropped. "You think I'm _with_ Teddy?"

"Aren't you?"

"No!" A nervous giggle escaped. "He's like a big brother to me—that's all he's ever been. I promise you."

Harry moved so quickly Scorpius barely had time to react to Harry's hands on his shoulders, to his lips meeting his again. "Merlin, Scorp, I've been out of my mind with jealousy," Harry confessed between kisses. Scorpius found himself backed up against the bed, his legs folding as he was eased back onto it. Automatically he scooted back into the middle and watched with wide eyes as Harry followed, straddling his thighs and staring down at him in awe. "There's really nothing between you?"

"There really isn't," Scorpius said, unable to stop his smile from widening. The feel of having Harry above him, still fully clothed, was sending the blood to his already fully erect cock. "Say it again—about how jealous you were."

"I wanted to kill him—my own godson, who I love like he was my own—I wanted to choke the life out of him because I thought he had you."

Scorpius' smile fell. He remembered how he felt when he saw Harry's hand in Frank's—when Frank had been begging Harry to 'say yes'. He'd been ready to kill then too.

"What about Frank?" he whispered, averting his eyes from Harry's gaze. The warmth that had been spiralling in his belly turned into led at the memory.

He felt Harry take his hand and thread his fingers through his. "Frank is my ex. We broke up last year after he asked me to marry him and I said no—I didn't love him, not like that—and he took a job in Sweden for a year. He came back two weeks ago and he came to see me, and that's what you saw—he asked me again. I said no, _again_. I've barely thought of him this last year. You're all I can think about. Since you moved in here you've been driving me crazy."

The led began to dissolve. "You drive me crazy too," Scorpius confessed. "I'm so in love with you it hurts."

Harry grinned, wide and honest, his eyes shining with what Scorpius hoped was reciprocation. "We can't have that can we?" He placed his palm flat on Scorpius' stomach. "Tell me where it hurts. Is it here?"

Scorpius shook his head, biting back a giggle.

Harry leant forwards and traced a finger around Scorpius' nipple. "Here?"

Scorpius shook his head again. Harry kissed his way back down Scorpius' belly, his hand closing around Scorpius' cock. He looked up at him, a half smile playing on his lips as he snaked out his tongue and swept it over the head of his cock. "Here?" he whispered. Scorpius nodded his head furiously. Harry winked up at him. "I love you," he said, and closing his eyes, engulfed Scorpius whole.

Thus ended any coherent thoughts on Scorpius' part for quite some time. Suffice to say, Teddy had to find a new flatmate and Scorpius didn't spend a single night out of Harry's bed until that one night, three years later, when they had a huge row about something utterly ridiculous and Scorpius stormed out to stay with Teddy, and even then, he came home in the middle of the night and crawled in next to Harry, an apology on his lips, straight into Harry's welcoming arms.

It never happened again.


End file.
